Hi Donnie my name is Don.Mike .. Thanks .. Yes it has
Truth is I’m far from optimistic and up beat about having suffered a stroke and the subsequent journey I have been on ever since. I normally give an update monthly but it's been a rough couple of months. Certainly, a stroke is nothing to be cheery about but it’s mainly about the recovery that has me down despite my positive comments on the forum through out the year and my general attitude else where. I try desperately to emulate putting my best foot forward. I want to be brave when faced with adversity but I’am not always that way. Funny thing about stroke is that it doesn't replace all your problems in your life that were there before the stroke. It's a huge problem to add to a persons life but it just goes in the mix of what life gives you …. gives all of us .. in my case before I suffered from stroke it was ...
Depression .. It was in my life even before the stroke. I wrote this from my personal journal entry from Sept 7' 2012 — 6 years ago —
Depression was always there in one form or another in my life. Ironically, now that I have a reason to be depressed it doesn't make it somehow better. There must be a reason I figured but I have found instead its simply the mind working overtime and doing crappy work too! I know there are millions who suffer from depression and it is all to real. I have to deal with the stroke and its companion depression. You too face these multitude of life challenges. We all have our obstacles and things thrown at us. We try each day to be positive but sometimes we buckle and the future looks bleaker that it truly is.
“Depression is the inability to construct a future” … May, Rollo.
That seems to fit me to a tee. That's the way forward but building that positive future in your mind first is so tough. It's probably tough for you too. I'm just a player in life just like you. Sometime we get behind in life but we don't quit playing.
I saw my Doctor yesterday and we've decided I should continue the depression and anxiety meds. I had wanted to stop them but acquiesced. I still have the lightheadness, and have notice it pick up some. Wearing the gear (Bioness) as prescribed on right leg and arm. I can walk (waddle) 2 miles in about 2 hours with stops here and there. I realize now my thinking is impaired. Confuse easily. Can't remember stuff. Feel my body has aged 5+ years. At the rate I'm going it seems like it may be years before I can ride again.
I'll make it through .. and so will you.
I'll try to check in more often.