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Just a little note on how we Southern Boys see things. Don't want any surprises when we show up at Cats Cade.... :lol:



RULES OF THE SOUTH

A friend just moved from Southern California to North Carolina and he e-mailed this. He said they gave it to him at the state line.

If you are going to live or visit in the South, you need to know these rules:

1. That farm boy you see at the gas station did MORE work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.

2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Navigator. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. The red dirt -- it's called clay. Red clay. If you like the color, don't wash your car for a couple weeks -- it'll be permanent.

4. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.

5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13-inch trout you fish for -- bait.

6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards (ducks) are making their final approach, we will shoot it (the phone). You might want to ensure it's not up to your ear at the time.

8. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.

9. Tea - yeah, we have tea. It comes in a glass over ice and is really, really sweet. You want it hot -- sit it in the sun. You want it unsweetened -- add a LOT of water.

10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.

11. So, you have a sixty thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have a quarter of a million-dollar combine (it's farm equipment) that we only use two weeks a year.

12. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.

13. We eat dinner together with our families. We pray before we eat (yeah, even breakfast). We go to church on Wednesdays and Sundays and we go to high school football games on Friday nights. We still address our seniors with "yes, sir" and "yes, ma'am," and we sometimes still take Sunday drives around town to see friends and neighbors.

14. We don't do "hurry up" well.

15. Greens - yeah, we have greens, but you don't putt on them. You boil them with salty fatback, bacon or a ham hock.

16. Yeah, we eat catfish, bass, bream (pronounced brim) and carp. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.

17. They are pigs. That's what they smell like (money). Get it -- pig farms -- income -- money? Get over it. Don't like the smell? Interstate 85 goes two ways Interstate 40 goes the other two. Pick one.

18. Grits are corn. You put butter, salt, and maybe even some pepper on them. If you want to put milk and sugar on them, then you want Cream of Wheat -- go to Kansas. That would be I-40 west.

19. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season or dove season. Both are holidays. You can get pancakes, cane syrup, and sausage before daylight at the church on either day.

20. So every person in every pickup waves? Yeah, it's called being friendly. Understand the concept?

21. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks the fish and bothers the gators...and if you hit it in the rough, we have these things called diamondbacks, and they're not baseball players.

22. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving like an idiot...his name is "Sir," no matter how young he is.

23. We have lots of pine trees. They have sap. It drips from them. You park your Navigator under them, and they'll leave a logo on your hood.

24. You burn an American flag in our state, you get beat up. No questions. The liberal contingent of our state legislature -- all four of them -- enacted a measure to stop this. There is now a $2.50 fine for beating up the flag burner.

25. No, we don't care how you do things up North. If it is so great up there, why not stay there?

26. And no, down here we don't have an accent, you do.

In God We Trust.

YA'LL COME BACK!
 

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This post reminds me of a ride i took to kentucky one time,i was somewere in west va when i got off the interstate for gas,and right up the main drag comes a guy on a 4 wheeler with a deer strapped across the handle bars.All the locals are yellin at him happy that he had a successfull hunt in mid july 8) OLE YELLER MBG PA
 

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8)

KY Blue,
Nice post, good to the point and covers some of the "uniqueness" of things we take for granted. :wink: :lol:
 

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You must be from 'Southern' KY? These 'down home' values are currently lacking, in much of society. You and your list of preferences are most welcome to visit us. You might not realize the extent of ready acceptance of these values, in certain 'Northern' localities!

Interestingly, the Mason/Dixon line closely parallels the PA/MD border and runs through a portion of S Jersey. Some NJ generations, raised below the M&D line, continue to consider themselves part of the "South".
 

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Everything but the sweet tea and red clay sounds just like it is here in mid-Michigan. I think if your raised as a country boy or gal almost all of your listed things are quite true to the heart.
 

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Looks to me, like CJ, Hedo and I need to get our rules up, for you visitin Rebs...

Oh I can see, this ain't gonna be nice....LOL

Dawg
 

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We'll be nice...

We'll put away the gray suits and ball & power.... :lol:
 

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We'll put away the gray suits . . .
Now wait one minute. Just what colored suit is it. Y'all fix'n to tell me that there orange suit I was fix'en to bring is now the wrong color? And ta think I went to all that there trouble to have my address tatooed on the britches just in case I went over and could not get up.

Wifes not gonna be happy about all the work she did on tailoring that thing.
 

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When I lived in Atlanta this wouldn't have helped...
10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.
It took me a while to get used to being asked what flavor of coke at many eateries. coke was the same as soda or pop or whatever...
 

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OK, you southern boys (or others) may stay in PA - here are our rules:

How To Save Your Ass If You Plan To Visit Pennsylvania -

Issued by the Pennsylvania Tourism Bureau to ALL visitors:

1. Don't order filet mignon or pasta primavera at The Pancake Farm. It's a
diner. They serve breakfast. Let them cook something they know. If you upset the ladies in the kitchen, they'll kick your ass.

2. Don't laugh at the names of our towns (Intercourse, Bird-in-Hand, Blue
Ball, Climax, Ephrata) or we will just have to kick your ass.

3. We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you. We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer. Don't refer to us as a bunch of hicks or we'll kick your ass.

4. Naturally, we do have lapses in judgment from time to time, but we are
not dumb enough to let someone move to our state in order to run for the
Senate. If someone tried to do that, we would kick her ass.

We are also not dumb enough to elect a professional wrestler to our highest state office. People like that should have their ass kicked.

5. Anything that inspires tourists to buy 50,000 postcards can't be bad, so
don't laugh at our Amish horse & Buggies. If you do we'll kick your ass.

6. We are fully aware of how cold it gets here in the winter, so shut the
hell up. Just spend your money and get the hell out of here or we'll kick
your ass.

7. Don't order the vegetarian special at the local diner. Everyone will
instantly know that you're a tourist. Eat your steak well done like God
intended and have some potatoes with that, for heaven's sake! Also, don't
ask what a hot dish is or we'll kick your ass.

8. Don't try to fake a Pennsylvania Dutch accent. We don't have an accent. That will incite a riot and you will get your ass kicked many times.

9. Don't talk about how much better things are at home because we know
better. Many of us have visited big-city hellholes like Washington D.C.,
Chicago, and New York and we have the scars to prove it. If you don't like
it here, Interstate 80, 70, and 76 are ready when you are. Move your ass on home before it gets kicked.

10. Don't complain that Pennsylvania has too many moquitoes and farmland. If you whine about OUR scenic beauty we'll kick your ass all the way back to New York City.

11. Don't ridicule our mannerisms. We only speak when spoken to. We hold doors open for others. We offer our seats to old folks because such things are expected of civilized people. Behave yourselves around our sweet, little gray-haired grandmothers or they will kick some manners into your ass just like they did ours.

12. Don't lie to any of us. If we don't find out right away, we will eventually. We will then kick your ass.

13. So you think we're quaint because many of us live on the farm or in the woods? That's because we have enough sense to not live in filthy, smelly, crime-infested cesspools like New York or New Jersey. Make fun of our country fresh air and we'll kick your ass.

14. Anyone from any point further south than the Mason-Dixon line will have their ass kicked back to whence they came. If you are from Virginia, we will kick your ass using some **** Stompin Steel Toed boots.

***

Enjoy your visit, and then go home. Remember, Maryland has Crabs, Virginia is for lovers, but Pennsylvania has Intercourse!
 

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John,

That almost makes me want to leave home, on the coldest night of winter and visit PA...LOL

Good one!

Dawg
 

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So basically what you're saying then John is that within a three state area, someone can fall in love, have intercourse, get crabs, and expect to get they a$$ kicked for doing it? Is that about right? Just trying to summarize.
 

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Wheels said:
So basically what you're saying then John is that within a three state area, someone can fall in love, have intercourse, get crabs, and expect to get they a$$ kicked for doing it? Is that about right? Just trying to summarize.
Sounds like the ol' Navy days. :D
 

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So basically what you're saying then John is that within a three state area, someone can fall in love, have intercourse, get crabs, and expect to get they a$$ kicked for doing it? Is that about right? Just trying to summarize.
Only the first two. Crabs are in MD. You get your a$$ kicked if you don't behave! :D

FYI: In order to get to Paradise, you have to go through Intercourse.

(picture to be added later)
 

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:shock: :lol:

:yes: Wheels :yes:
 

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John, you'll get no trouble from me, after all, I beleive this picture says it best.



Mom always told me I was her little Angel!!!
:wink:

(editors note, best I could do without Photo shop).
 

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:shock:

SHAZAM!!!!

Wheels,
Are ya a Civil Servant as in a GS type?? I can picture ya sayin' that all so famous line: "I'm from the Government and I'm here to help" with a perfectly straight face. :roll: :wink: :lol:
This Catscade will have to be recorded for posterity's sake and posted on a Youtube or MySpace site for folks to realize we all be different but funny as it gets. :roll: :wink: :twisted: :lol: 8)
 
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