Joined
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524 Posts
Before I head out to work this morning I thought I would pass on some jokes that are not motorcycle related but seeing as how I ride my bike to work I might be forgiven.
Enjoy and have a good Day....it's Friday !!
Dave
:lol:
Three men are sitting stiffly side by side on a long commercial flight.
After they're airborne and the plane has leveled off, the man in the window seat
abruptly says, distinctly and confidently, in a loud voice, "Admiral, United
States Navy, retired. Married, two sons, both surgeons."
After a few minutes the man in the aisle seat states through a tight lipped
smile, "Admiral, United States Coast Guard, retired. Married, two sons, both
judges."
After some thought, the fellow in the center seat decides to introduce himself
With a twinkle in his eye he proclaims, "Master Chief Gunnery Sergeant, United
States Marines, retired. Never married, two sons, both Admirals.
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During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road
encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the wheel.
"Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside. "Nope,"
replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "Yours is."
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Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his
desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the
colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into
the phone, "Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along
your message. In the
meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir." Feeling as though he had
sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he asked, "What do you want?"
"Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "I'm just here to hook up your
telephone."
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?" Soldier: "Sure, buddy."
Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now lets try it ag ain! Officer:
"Do you have change for a dollar?" Soldier: "No, SIR!"
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Q: How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party?
A: He'll tell you.
Q: What's the difference between God and fighter pilots?
A: God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.
Q: What's the difference between a fighter pilot and a jet engine?
A: jet engine stops whining when the plane shuts down.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
An Air Force Chief Master Sergeant and a General were sitting in the barbershop.
They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached
for some after-shave to slap on their faces. The General shouted, "Hey, don't
put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!" The Chief
turned to his barber and
said, "Go ahead and put it on me. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."
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"Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman, "I suppose
after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so
you can come and pee on my grave." "Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied. "Once I
get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!"
Enjoy and have a good Day....it's Friday !!
Dave
Three men are sitting stiffly side by side on a long commercial flight.
After they're airborne and the plane has leveled off, the man in the window seat
abruptly says, distinctly and confidently, in a loud voice, "Admiral, United
States Navy, retired. Married, two sons, both surgeons."
After a few minutes the man in the aisle seat states through a tight lipped
smile, "Admiral, United States Coast Guard, retired. Married, two sons, both
judges."
After some thought, the fellow in the center seat decides to introduce himself
With a twinkle in his eye he proclaims, "Master Chief Gunnery Sergeant, United
States Marines, retired. Never married, two sons, both Admirals.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road
encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the wheel.
"Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside. "Nope,"
replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "Yours is."
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his
desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the
colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into
the phone, "Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along
your message. In the
meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir." Feeling as though he had
sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he asked, "What do you want?"
"Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "I'm just here to hook up your
telephone."
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?" Soldier: "Sure, buddy."
Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now lets try it ag ain! Officer:
"Do you have change for a dollar?" Soldier: "No, SIR!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party?
A: He'll tell you.
Q: What's the difference between God and fighter pilots?
A: God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.
Q: What's the difference between a fighter pilot and a jet engine?
A: jet engine stops whining when the plane shuts down.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
An Air Force Chief Master Sergeant and a General were sitting in the barbershop.
They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached
for some after-shave to slap on their faces. The General shouted, "Hey, don't
put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!" The Chief
turned to his barber and
said, "Go ahead and put it on me. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."
------------------------------------------------------------------
"Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman, "I suppose
after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so
you can come and pee on my grave." "Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied. "Once I
get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!"