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THE FLORIDA CODE



When giving directions in Florida , you should

Always start with the words, "take I-75 or take I-95..."



If you're a snowbird or a non-working retiree, you absolutely cannot drive between the hours of 6 AM and 10 AM or 4 PM and 7 PM.

This is considered to be rush hour and you're not in any rush. No exceptions.


Freeways can only go north and south. Not east and west..



Tolls are a fact of life down here, the state has to make noney so deal with it!



I-275, State Road 50 (and numerous others) will always be under construction... that's the Law, there is nothing anyone can do about it, period!



A1A and ALT A1A are the same streets.



Traffic lights aren't timed and never will be.



We measure the distance you travel in time, not miles.



If you travel more than 5-10 miles on any road in any part of Florida without seeing an orange 'Bob's Barricade', you're lost!



If you miss your exit on I-75, I-4 or I-275, its perfectly acceptable to back up.



Every street in Florida has both a name and a number (i.e. Adamo = Hwy60,) just for the hell of it and for the pleasure we get from the reaction of visitors when we give them directions.



Once the light turns green, only 3 cars can go through the Intersection Eight more go through on yellow, and 4 more on red and are caught by the new "red light" cameras which make tens of thousands of dollars of revenue each month.



Know the difference between Sun Pass , Sun Fest, Sun-Sentinel, and Sun Trust.



Flip flops, tank tops and baggy shorts are also known as business casual.



Your blinker means nothing.



English is our first, second and ONLY language.



It is perfectly acceptable to brag about the size of your generator.



We have alligators here in Florida and they WILL bite you. Don't be stupid and try to feed or pet one.



When a hurricane is headed our way, even though you have advanced warning and you are told to be prepared, you're not a true Florida Cracker unless you wait until the absolute last minute to go to Home Depot to pick up plywood or to Publix to stock up water, ice, beer, and potato chips.



You know how to spell Okeechobee. There is an Okeechobee Blvd , Street, Avenue, Town, Lake and County.

You know how to correctly pronounce Palatlakaha and Okahumpka.



A true Florida Cracker does NOT own a boat. They make friends with someone who already owns one. That way you don't have to deal with any of the headaches.



You weren't born here. If you were, you're angry

that everyone else moved here.



There's always a Walgreens across the street

from a CVS on almost every corner - with more being built everyday.



When attempting to pick up a woman on South Beach , always check for an Adams apple.



It's normal to sweat when you are putting up your holiday decorations.



There is a city called The Villages where 87,000 old people drive golf carts and dance in the streets.



Jupiter is a city, not a planet.



Seniors have to do their errands during the weekdays. Not weeknights or weekends - that's for the working folks.



There are three types of dolphins: Mahi-mahi, Flipper, and also one called a football team.



You can't say; 'this is how we did it up

North. If you think that way, then go back. Just

Remember I-95 & I-75 runs both ways.



No matter what they decide in Tallahassee you will never, ever be able to figure out your property taxes.



Learn how to dress in layers. It will be 95 degrees outside but inside any restaurant or business it's 65 Degrees.



There are three things you will need to survive a Florida winter: A long sleeved T-shirt, sunscreen and the ability to mock all those extremely pale' visitors' with the bright pink ' Florida tans'



The same neighbor who smiles at you every day will be the first one to rat you out if you are violating water restrictions.
 

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"When attempting to pick up a woman on South Beach , always check for an Adams apple."

Good Advice :agree:


"There is a city called The Villages where 87,000 old people drive golf carts and dance in the streets."

You forgot to add and can't get enough Cat Fish. :wrong:
 

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Took me two hours to go from Ft. Myers to Naples one time. We were headed for some zoo down that way someplace. Traffic was stop and go the whole way.

Rode alligator alley all the way to the east coast, that was pretty neat.

Saw lots of gators.

Kissed a mermaid but found out later it was a Manatee. :roll:
 

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thought this was all funny then realized its all true:lol:
 

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Did Bill kill another duck.??
 

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Jan K is the duck killer when he lived there. Bill just kills grass with his golf clubs. :lol:
 

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Tell it like it is..........

Gary, you hit the nail on the head. One oddity that you missed is this;
here in Orlando the Yellow Cab Co. is visible everywhere. That's because their cabs are orange.
 

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THE FLORIDA CODE


There is a city called The Villages where 87,000 old people drive golf carts and dance in the streets.
And I B one of them 2... Living the dream :bow: :thumbup:
 

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And kill ducks.

.
Whew! Glad they didn't figure out my username while I was there but those people driving golf carts sure do mean business when they head out to their destination!! :22yikes:
 

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:agree:good info Gary
 

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A Real Pair..............

I had forgotten, Jan kills ducks and Fred kills anything that flys.
"Birds of a feather, flock together"
 

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Hey Gary - I have heard some of that before... BUT - I know a real Florida Cracker that owns his own boat!

Talk about a Cracker... he is at least full box! :cool:

Here's his boat!

 

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And one more:
The Lincoln Town Car crusing down the left lane of a 4 lane hwy, doing 35 mph in a 65 mph zone with a puff of white hair, just visible over the steering wheel. Most likely on their way to a 4PM earlybird special.
Probabily one of the neighbors from my "over 55" community. :joke:
 
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