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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
If you can't laugh at yourself, don't read on!
No matter what marque you ride, it's all the same wind!

The difference between Harley riders and Goldwing drivers:
Harley riders: "Live to ride. Ride to Live."
Goldwing drivers: "Eat to ride. Ride to eat

Harley riders: "Loud pipes save lives. "
Goldwing drivers: "Honey, will you turn down the radio?"

Harley riders: Black leather jacket and chaps
Goldwing drivers: Red snowmobile suit

Harley riders: Black leather vest with chain closure and skull and lightning bolt on the back
Goldwing drivers: Gray twill vest with trading pins and Association chapter patch on the back

Harley riders: Meets other riders at "The Dam Ice House"
Goldwing drivers: Meets other riders at Denny's

Harley riders: Biker Mama on the back.
Goldwing drivers: HER Mama on the back.

Harley riders: Cross city ride ends at topless bar.
Goldwing drivers: Cross country ride ends at Dairy Queen

Harley riders: National riders group meeting called "Hog Rally".
Goldwing drivers: International group affair called "Wing Ding" or "Gold Rush".

Harley riders: Riding in groups of two.
Goldwing drivers: Riding in groups of twenty.

Harley riders: Ape hanger bars and (proctologists dream) splinter seats.
Goldwing drivers: Big wide seats for big wide butts.

Harley riders: Rolling thunder.
Goldwing drivers: BarcoLounger with wheels

Harley riders: Dew rags covering up steel plate in the head from riding without a helmet. But looking COOL.Goldwing drivers: Helmet with headset and microphones, covered in reflective patches
Harley riders: "This beer is flat, let's trash the place."
Goldwing drivers: "This cappuccino is cold. Let's only tip 10%."

Top Ten Reasons Why Harley Riders Don't Wave Back
10. Afraid it will invalidate warranty
9. Leather and studs make it too hard to raise arm.
8. Refuses to wave to anyone whose bike is already paid for.
7. Afraid to let go of handlebars because they might vibrate off.
6. Rushing wind would blow scabs off the new tattoos.
5. Angry because just took out second mortgage to pay luxury tax on new Harley.
4. Just discovered the fine print in owner's manual and realized H-D is partially owned
by those rice-burner manufacturers.
3. Can't tell if other riders are waving or just reaching to cover their ears like everyone else.
2. Remembers the last time a Harley rider waved back, he impaled his hand on spiked helmet.
1. They're jealous that after spending $30,000, they still don't own a Gold Wing.

Top Ten Reasons Why Gold Wing Riders Don't Wave Back
10. Wasn't sure whether other rider was waving or making an obscene gesture.
9. Afraid might get frostbite if hand is removed from heated grip .
8. Has arthritis and the past 400 miles have made it difficult to raise arm .
7. Reflection from etched windshield momentarily blinded him.
6. The expresso machine just finished .
5. Was actually asleep when other rider waved .
4. Was in a three-way conference call with stock broker and accessories dealer .
3. Was distracted by odd shaped blip on radar screen.
2. Was simultaneously adjusting the air suspension, seat height, programmable CD
player, seat temperature and satellite navigation system .
1. Couldn't find the "auto wave back" button on dashboard.

Remember..... Friends dont let friends ride Harleys
98% of all Harleys ever sold are still on the road...... The rest of them made it home.
Why do Harley riders always extend their hands down when they pass? They are not waving. They are catching parts that are falling off.
If Harley made a plane, would you fly in it ?? :)
15 Reasons a Gold Wing would be stopped along the road
The cappuccino machine needs cleaning.
His co-rider fell asleep and he hated to wake her.
He needed to put 10 new CDs in to the CD changer. The refrigerator mounted on the trailer hitch can’t keep the ice cream frozen on hot days so he stopped to eat it.
He had a fax coming in on the first line, so he thought he’d better disconnect the modem from the second line in case someone was trying to reach him on the helmet phone.
The last big bump made the lazy boy seat come to a full upright position, so he had to stop and adjust it.
His tax accountant has scheduled a conference call with his portfolio manager, and he wanted to take a few notes.
He just crossed a time zone and he needed to reset the VCR to record the right program for him to watch tonight.
His A/C vents were pointed too far into the wind stream to keep him cool.
He has a 200-mile gas tank range but a 175-mile bladder range.
He stopped to take the chocolate chip cookies out of the oven, but now the ice cream is all gone, so what can he eat with them?
He was confirming tonight’s reservation at the Hilton 800 miles ahead.
He wanted to color in another state on his travel map.
He had a bug splattered on his chrome and he needed to polish it before it dried on.
He stopped to help the Harley that was stopped along the road
What is the difference between a Gold Wing and a logging truck?
1. About 40 pounds and a stuffed animal.
2. Logging trucks don’t throw sparks when they go around corners.
3. Logging trucks need all their lights.
4. Logging trucks will usually pull over to let you pass.
5. Logging trucks must stop at weigh stations.
6. Logging trucks don’t all look alike.
7. Logging trucks are not as wide.
8. Nobody ever built a three wheel logging truck.
9. You can’t get a 400-pound woman on a logging truck.

"12 Rules for the Wing Driver"
1. Takeoffs are optional; Stopping is mandatory.
2. Never try to drive farther than your fuel will allow.
3. When in doubt, stay home. No one ever suffered major injuries from a head-on with a remote control.
4. There are good stops and there are great stops. Any stop you can walk away from is a good one. A great one, you can drive your wing away from.
5. Learn from the mistakes of others, you may not live through yours.
6. Your probability of survival is directly and inversely proportional to your angle and speed of arrival to the stopping object. The higher the speed and closer to head-on, the less chance of survival.
7. Never let your Wing take you someplace your brain hasn't spent at least 15 seconds.
8. In the eternal conflict between objects of plastic and steel moving at speed and the ground, the ground has yet to loose.
9. Good judgement comes from experience. Unfortunately experience comes from bad judgement. See rule #3
10. Keep looking around there's always something you missed.
11. Remember that gravity is not just a good idea, it's the law, and one that doesn't break easily.
12. Remember thy Co-rider for they are the bearers of great pleasure if you get it right and even greater suffering if you get it wrong.

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2,547 Posts
Nice Collection :yes1:

· Registered
517 Posts
I'm insulted! I'm shocked, yes shocked the the generalizations! I'm sitting here laughing my a** off!

Hitting print and distributing it to the the office then going to the Dairy Queen
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